Sunday, July 1, 2018

One Year Ago Today

On this day, one year ago, we completely changed our lives. We drove away from jobs and home and loved ones to a new adventure of the very much unknown. At 8 months pregnant it was terrifying. But God had us. And has us. And this past year has been full of Him.


Tuesday, June 5, 2018

So What Now? Home Life Edition

Do you find the day to day mundanes of other people's lives fascinating? I do. Well, depends on the person of course. But in general, the different ways that people tackle the world. The things that they view as so normal. The habits they've chosen to incorporate into the world. What they must have. What they avoid at all costs. Such a snapshot of the uniqueness of our world.

So what does our little world look like now? I've already shared with you about our physical home and the current kitchen adventures.

But who is actually living and breathing in this home and snarfing down these kitchen goodies? What do we do with our days? All those little things that make up this "grand thing we call life."

My days are made up of the following:

1. Caring for baby
2. Caring for the other two children.
3. Caring for/supervising care for a dog.
4. Maintaining my home including cleaning, cooking, shopping, bill paying, etc, etc. You know--that stuff!
5. Teaching
6. Editing
7. Living

1. Baby girl is a joy and honestly such a calm little girl (knock on wood, praying hard this continues, go ahead and throw that salt over your left shoulder!). She is now 9 months old and growing fast. We're already transitioning into 12 month clothes. She crawls lightening fast, climbs stairs, and explores and is ready to start walking any time--she just needs to forget what she's doing and do it! She is signing more and more (literally--she's signing "more") and babbles away when the mood strikes (in a rather loud, assertive voice--apparently being the youngest she feels the need to make sure we're hearing her).

She is still somewhat hesitant with most other people except our immediate family--even those she sees regularly. But she's screaming less and just studying them more.

Her thumb is still her best friend. And, with some exceptions, she is still my least-stressful sleep baby. And I love it!

2. Bluberry and Zander-Man have both grown (physically and emotionally and mentally) so much this last year. They are settling into our world here well. Zander is at the age where his memories of NC and house-parenting are rapidly disappearing. Blueberry still struggles with missing our "Big Girls" and some of her friends from NC, but as time goes on and we settle more firmly into our lives here, she is happier.

They absolutely love the weather and probably spend between two to three hours outdoors most days. There is a strip of yard behind our house that they have taken over (trying to not terrorize/annoy the neighbors). They play around the front. We are in walking distance of parks. They love it.

3. Kip Guile is the latest addition to our family. Obtained in January of this year, he is a toy fox terrier of a grand total of about 8 pounds--full grown as he is 2 years old. He thinks he's more like 60 pounds and is determined to take on every dog/person/strange thing that he sees and protect us all. It's taken some work as we've decided he either wasn't well socialized as a puppy or is just a neurotic little mess. However, he's becoming steadily better behaved and minding his manners better. Which is good as for awhile there we did have some concerns about if we needed to try again with a different dog--which was not a happy idea for anyone, least of all Blueberry who is most definitely mistress of Kip and the love of his life. He has, in time, warmed to all of us, generally speaking. But she's the one he runs to check on the most and whines to go see if he isn't with.

4. Home life and maintenance. Ah, where to begin. Well, I shan't go into much here, at least not for now. It's all been an adjustment going from working as a houseparent to just being a regular parent with a different focus. And not having Chris around during the day to help with the constant interactions with the kids does wear down my introverted soul sometimes. I'm learning to manage myself better and maintain my needed boundaries and ways of breathing. Fortunately, the beautiful thing of having a husband who has "been there/done that" in a way (in terms of working at home) is that he understands the big picture of all I do, and is willing to help out however he can. We're finding a nice rhythm to our lives--changing and adjusting as baby grows and activities grow and family needs morph.

5. Teaching. I am continuing to homeschool Blueberry and Zander. I honestly love it, and the thought of sending them away to school (while appealing occasionally when they're being difficult) really isn't one I entertain. I will explore this topic in more detail (possible too much detail!) at a later point. But homeschool life, curriculum, learning, and all related are a huge part of our existence.

6. Editing. This has proven to be one of the more surprising aspects of my life the past 10 months. I've always continued to edit for seminary/masters students even while we were house-parenting. The extra income is always helpful, and I enjoy it. However, I haven't done a lot the last few years as I simply didn't have the time.

In December, I was contacted by a minister/executive for the Pacific Northwest Assemblies of God needing an edit on a book he was publishing. Thanks to our thoughtful pastor, he had suggested my name, and I spent much of late December/early January working at that. The money was perfect as it allowed us to purchase Kip, and I definitely enjoyed getting my fingers back into editing.

Then in January I was contacted by another gentleman for a different ministry who was looking for a regular editor for their organization. Long story short, I agreed to take that on part-time, and have been enjoying that since. The hours are decent, I get to work from home, and the pay is definitely a bonus right now as, while God is taking care of us and we're living comfortable, we have absolutely no wiggle room in our budget. This is creating a way for us to handle some other financial matters with less stress, and that makes me happy.

I've also had a few more other small jobs pop up the last few months, and another lady needing a book editing that she is self-publishing. So all in all, my editing continues to flow well and I'm thankful (for I have no doubt of how this all came about) for the Lord's looking out for us in all ways and times.

7. Living. The things that make this existence worthwhile and memorable. We're enjoying exploring the area. I absolutely adore living in a valley with both mountains (and volcanoes . . . ) and the ocean just short drives away. Of course Seattle and Portland are both great cities to explore and be close to as well. This will continue to be a factor as the kids grow and interests abound.

The church we're attending just kind of landed in our lap and has been a huge blessing since the first day we arrived. I'm enjoying getting to know some of the ladies from there; and we're slowly getting more involved ministry-wise. Not taking on anything too quickly though. They have a fabulous kids program, and that's been amazing for Blueberry and Zander.

Reality check in our lives the past ten months--particularly the first six--is that in addition to having a newborn, we really had a lot of stress and processing to deal with and work through. Both Chris and I feel like we're just now coming out of all that, and the evidence is being seen in small ways. Both of us exploring writing again for a start.

Friends are coming. Some through the church. Some through the neighborhood (because it is such a new neighborhood, it seems a little easier to meet other people as they move in than can sometimes be the case. Although even now I'm beginning to lose track of who all lives down here). Others we've met through the homeschool co-op we joined in the spring. Each one a little root shooting into the ground as we become more planted in our new home and find ourselves growing strong.

All in all, life is beginning to flourish here. Are all things perfect--nope. Are all things settled--nope. Are we always open to the move of God and His direction--I sure hope so. He's not led us wrong yet.

But as I said to Blueberry the other night when she was having a rough night . . . God moved heaven and earth to get us here. It literally took miracles to make this happen. I don't believe for a second that there is a not a reason for that. And our job now is to live our lives the best we can and seek after what the purpose is--whether it is simply breathing into other people's lives or taking on a whole new ministry. Who knows. He will show us, and in the meantime, we ontologize.

Monday, May 21, 2018

So What Now? In My Kitchen

As the kitchen is, at least so I've been told, the heart of a home, let's have a peek into my kitchen and see what stories the activity there can tell of what our life is at this time.

With a dairy free husband (who also tends to avoid cashew and almond milk) and daughter and myself being gluten free and soy free, cooking is always interesting. I do tend to cook from scratch primarily as I find it cheaper and actually less complicated than trying to find various versions of "free-from."

My first challenge since we moved was getting used to feeding 12--8 of whom being extremely active, growing girls--to only feeding 4 (well, now 5 as Ell is starting to eat). Fortunately we like leftovers as my proportions were way off! And actually, leftovers are frequently how I plan our weeks. Cook for a day or two or three--eat leftovers for a day or two. It's so nice to not have to think about dinner every single day. I always feel sorry for people who don't like leftovers (or who have family members who don't like leftovers). I Love being able to plan for non-cooking days!

I've also been having fun finding some new recipes.

We've been trying to incorporate fish into our weekly fare with more consistency, so I've found an awesome Fish Taco recipe and a few other fish recipes as well we've been enjoying.

I've also found a good recipe for non-complicated Pho. We love Kwitdeow (Thai Chicken Noodle Soup), but having the Vietnamese alternative has been fun. And my kids seem to be completely satisfied with either option.

What else is going on in my kitchen?

Well, I've started making yoghurt again (yum!). I've attempted coconut yoghurt, but I haven't been super pleased with the results. This is frustrating both as it's annoying to not have it work and also it's a bit expensive for a lot of mess-ups. I need to try to find an alternative dairy-free yoghurt recipe that Blueberry likes (and Chris can handle). She likes my coconut yoghurt that has come out correctly, and actually prefers it to the store bought versions. I just need to get some consistency there. Maybe with the weather being a little warmer . . .

I've also been learning the fine art of water kefir. Oh my goodness. Seriously. LOVE this stuff. No idea what I'm talking about? Start reading here to get a glimpse of this deliciousness.

Now, I have had one jar that may have exploded (we're thinking a crack in the jar as the cause of that), but otherwise it's been an easy process to learn. And if you've ever tried to make Kombucha--thinking way, way easier. And faster. And just as delicious (or more so depending on your taste buds).

Kombucha--I have a scoby sitting in my fridge as I speak--waiting for me to get a handle on it.

I've also been playing around with some lower-sugar options in my own diet. Nothing to extreme, but experiments that I'm enjoying.

The ultimate pattern in all of this, which you may or may not see, is that of time and experimentation. Two things I've simply not had much of in my life the last few years. To make homemade yoghurt and mess around with kefir grains and even enjoy baking/making treats that my whole family can enjoy is something that just was difficult to do with everything else going on. And this, I'm loving.

Except for the days when I don't want to cook. But really, who doesn't have those occasionally?

Monday, May 14, 2018

So What Now? Home Edition

So now, dear friend or reader or whoever you might be perusing the story of my life, the question is where are we now?

Well, let's start with our physical home.

We are living in a modern-design, brand-new townhouse. We are located near the edge of town, which I love. We are about five minutes from a lovely river-side beach/play area on the Columbia River. We are within walking distance of three separate playgrounds. We are 20 minutes from Chris' work and also from our church, the main highway to Seattle, Portland, Vancouver, etc. About an hour from Vancouver/Portland, two from Seattle. 10 minutes to multiple other parks and places to explore in town. 15 minutes to the library, groceries and the other necessities of life.

I love driving and also looking out my own windows and being able to see hills, mountains, rivers, evergreens. Mount Saint Helens frequently pokes her head over one our surrounding hills--depending on the rain and clouds of course. As an Ash Baby (one born within 9-10 months of Mt St Helen's 1980 eruption), the significance of living in her shadow is not lost on me. And the irony of now living so close is rather entertaining to me. That sound morbid. Not intended. More of a circle-of-life, see how far I've come sort of entertainment.

The neighborhood, since we moved in, has gone from about 10 town homes down a little cul-de-sac off one of the main roads through town to closer to 20! Most are still being built, but they are filling up as rapidly as they can finish building them. This I'm not so keen on. It's been nice knowing most/all of the neighbors as we/they have moved in. It's been a friendly neighborhood so far, and I'm afraid of losing some of that as these other town homes are finished.

Plus the mornings of waking up with my bed shaking or the blaring of the worker's radio has gotten a little old at times!

It's a funny little house. Advertised as being three bedrooms, but given that the third bedroom has a washer and dryer in it and a sliding door to the back, it's kind of hard to qualify it as a bedroom. We have used it primarily as a guest room/family room because otherwise our other main room of the house is the living-kitchen-dining-office-homeschool room! Welcome to a modern house.

The best and possibly worst feature is the HUGE windows that run up the front of the townhome. There are seven in all, plus four more littler ones at the very top. They let in beautiful views of the sky, and glimpses of the mountains around us, and of course--the neighbors! You learn to be extra cautious really quickly because there is absolutely no way to cover the second floor of windows and those look right into the landing/bedrooms! The letting in of the light even on the gloomiest of days (we are in the Pacific Northwest now with it's showers and shower and sprinkles and showers) is fabulous--until it gets hot, and then it simply roasts us. Like I said, the best and possibly worst feature of this home--all rolled into one!

I still have a closet full of boxes that I'm slowly unpacking and dealing with. We've acquired a few extra pieces of furniture (like a couch!) since we got here. And I've shuffled around the arrangement of the living/kitchen/homeschool room at least three times. I've about despaired of making the family room/third bedroom truly workable, but we'll figure it out eventually. Hopefully not just weeks before we move again!

Yes, I did say move. I shall not lie. I am prepared and eager for one more move. This is not our forever home. How long we will be here, I'm not sure. We've looked, but timing and money and prices and goals and other such things are keeping us here for now. So we strive to be content as is, to make the best of this funny little home, and continue to learn the area, settle in, and enjoy life as it is now.

Unfortunately, patience is never my strongest suit. . . .

Mt. St. Helen's

Tuesday, May 1, 2018

2017 Snippeted: Part 3 - August 22 to December 31

Where: Washington State
Who/What: Being stay-at-home wife, homeschooling mom of two and a newborn


August 22, 2017 - December 31, 2017

How I do I finish summarizing this year? Such craziness as we experienced. Such miracles. Such highs and lows. Such trepidation as we jumped, literally without any knowledge of where we were going to land or how, and found ourselves caught in the palm of His hands and gently placed where we needed to be.

By December, Charlotte and Zander were well ensconced in a great kid's program at church. Friendships were starting to form there. A good friendship with a neighbor had flourished. And we had gotten in contact with and were preparing to start attending in the spring, a well-established, friendly, homeschool co-op.

Madeline grew beautifully. Sweet tempered, generally easy going. An answer to prayer in so many ways, but not least in that for the first of my three babies, she was a good sleeper. A miracle of major proportion for me!

We had been visited by my Mum (immediately post-baby birth), my brother and sister-in-law, and sweet nephew. Two dear friends from college (and before!). Both my parents (for Christmas). We were enjoying being able to have people stay and come and go without reference to the campus schedule and the related rigors.

Homeschooling was going well. Lots of adjustments and figuring things out. For the first time since we started schooling, I haven't felt pulled in multiple directions and like schooling was being crammed in because of the other expectations on our lives. And the breath-ability has been wonderful.

Chris had settled in well at work. He found the job to be fulfilling but not overly taxing. Simply put, a job he can see doing for a very, very long time to come.

And with much wiggling and settling and sighing and a few tears, we had settled down into a new life, new rhythm, new Us!


Saturday, April 14, 2018

2017 Snippeted: Part 2 - May 15 to August 21



Where: North Carolina - Children's Home - Girl's Cottage #4
Who/What: House parenting 8 young ladies; parenting Zander (age 3), and Charlotte (age 6 and starting kindergarten at home).


May 15 - June 30, 2017
This month, one year to the day after we started in on the year of insanity, our lives went upside down again. I shall not go into great detail here. All I shall say is that God clearly and definitively showed us that our time at the Children's Home was done. And even more, that, at least for now, our Houseparenting time was done.

From May 16 until June 30, our lives became a scattered mess of wrapping up the school year for all the children, dealing with major stress in relation to the workplace, making the decision to resign regardless of not even having a job or place to go, packing up our house (still with no job to go to), multiple job interviews for Chris, landing a job (miracle upon miracle there), and leaving on June 30 to travel 4000 miles across-country to Washington State.

The most amazing part of this time was the numerous, countless, overwhelming number of confirmations that flowed in--God's hand moving us. God being with us. It was heartening, amazing, and inspiring. From two separate pastor's preaching directly about and to us to confirmations from individuals with no idea what was going on in our lives to money matters being handled to the penny to our projected needs--it was amazing. God made His presence in every detail so clear. In what should have been the most overwhelming stressful two months, there was such a strong sense of peace for both and Chris and I, it was almost unsettling in itself!

Saying goodbye to the girls who have been a part of my life for years (in many cases) was not easy. My heart is still with them and my prayers cover them daily. I have to trust that as the Lord has guided us, He also has their futures in His hands. And even in that, I have peace.

The hardest goodbye for us was one set of our dear fellow houseparents with whom we had the privilege of working not only in North Carolina but also in Arkansas. They have been our coworkers, mentors, and friends. Their graciousness in our lives, their role in loving on my children has been so special to us. The friendship goes on, and always will. But saying goodbye was hard.

For the 13th time in my life (that is counting only city to city, state to state, or country to country moves--not small moves within a city. If you count all those, it would be for the 24th or 25th move), all my wordly belongings were packed into a truck and we went to settle into a new life.

To really bring the situation into perspective: For my (then) 6 year old daughter, wherever we were going to settle in Washington was going to make her fifth home in six years. For my (then) 4 year old son, it would be his fourth.

One of our prayers is, and was, to settle--truly settle--somewhere. Whether this prayer has been fully answered I know not. We will always follow God's direction in our lives. But for now, we are at rest.





July 2017
Our first stop, upon leaving the children's home for good, was Tennessee where we spent several wonderful days with one of my best friends and family. Resting. Relaxing. Researching where we were going to live. And trying to find a midwife in Washington.

Once again, miracles upon miracles. I landed an amazing midwife whose first order of business (during a phone call I had with her in Tennessee) was to  start us on the right path to figuring out where to live. To be able to find a midwife willing to work with me at such a late date and who had availability in her calendar in August (the most popular baby month of the year) was pretty incredible in and of itself. To find one of the quality of which I did, was a miracle.

From Tennessee we traveled to Missouri where the kids and I spent about 10 days at my brother's house. We saw family and friends. Had a celebration party/baby shower. And continued researching where to live. Chris left about  four days before the kids and I as he drove out to Washington, and the kids and I followed via airplane. I was one week away from not being allowed to fly any more.

July 17 we landed in Portland, OR and drove to our new town about an hour away where we would live in a hotel for the next 6 days.

Our first order of business was to attend church (the day being Sunday after all). My parents (who call Washington state their USA home) happened to know a missionary couple who were Stateside, and they had put us in touch. We went ahead and attended the church finding there a truly caring group of people.

Here was the situation we walked into in terms of house hunting. Due to the town being only an hour from Vancouver/Portland, there is an overflow of people who work in Portland/Vancouver and live here. The rental market was (and is) almost non-existent. After a week of stressful searching and a  bit of connection-making from our pastor, we were able to land a brand new, completely equipped (as in, we are the first people to live here) townhouse on the edge of town. In the lower end of our price range. That would let us get a dog! And, with a little bit of pleading with the rental company, they let us get the keys Friday night (otherwise we would have been out several hundred dollars more on hotel rooms before we could move in). It meant sleeping on the world's most awful air-mattress (for me) and the floor (for Chris and the kids), but the price was right. And we were home.

Monday morning, first thing, our truck came. An awesome houseparent couple with whom we had worked in Arkansas drove down a few hours away and helped us (ahem...Chris) unload everything in one day (please keep in mind, by this point I was 36 weeks pregnant!).


Chris was getting pressure to get started in at his job (basically he needed to start to keep the position secure), and so by Thursday he was learning a new job, and I was deep in the throes of unpacking, settling children, finding banks, libraries, establishing myself with the midwife, figuring out where to go shopping, etc, etc. Not only determining a new house and town but an entirely new rhythm to our lives.

Neither one of my children have ever experienced life with a father who is not around all day but who actually leaves the house to go to work every day. Their understanding of job schedules is a heavy schedule for weeks at a time followed by a play week for everybody. They were also used to having large amounts of kids in their lives constantly. And while they play very well together, not having someone around willing to entertain them at all times was definitely strange.


August 1 - 21, 2017
The early part of August vanished rapidly in the quick unpacking of boxes (you don't move as many times in life as I have and not learn to unpack/settle swiftly) and preparations for baby's arrival. My due date was August 21, the day of the complete solar eclipse, and while everyone kept saying that babies never arrive on their due date, I was pretty sure this one would.

But first came Charlotte's seventh birthday and Chris' birthday. The kids got settled into an awesome Wednesday night program at our church. We made friends with our neighbor's on either side.

And sure enough, around 3:30am on August 21, labor started. That story I will save for another post. But suffice to say that Madeline Ellesse was born in six hours of rapid, extremely hard labor--one hour before the eclipse.


Thursday, March 22, 2018

2017 Snippeted: Part 1 - January 1 to May 15

Start of the Year:
Where: North Carolina - Children's Home - Girl's Cottage #4
Who/What: House parenting 8 young ladies; parenting Zander (age 3), and Charlotte (age 6 and starting kindergarten at home).

Overall impression of the year: This was the year of faith. Jumping without a parachute, in faith that God was going to catch us. And catch us He did. With style.

In writing and reviewing, I found this year broken into three distinct parts. The first part, January 1 to May 15, was the most "normal" in terms of what we had been experiencing the last few years.

May 15 to August 21: Change and more change.

August 21 - December 31 - The settling.

 January 2017
If you have been following the story summaries of the last two years, you will understand that January was a discouraging month for us. We had thought hope was in sight, and an end to the eternally-long schedule of no rest. Then the new couple who had been hired in November, quit in December. And we faced January with no time-off again.

However, in December--prior to the new couple quitting--I had gone to our director to triple-check that I was okay to book tickets to fly to Missouri to meet my nephew (at last--only five months later!). He had assured me we would have our week off in January and to go ahead and leave town. Of course when we were without relief again in January, there was a scramble to find someone to fill in for us that week. But they cobbled together some help, and we were able to (thankfully) take what should have been our regular scheduled week off.

Charlotte and I left Chris and Zander behind for a boy's week, and we got to meet my nephew, see my siblings, and generally have a sweet girls-week together. I also got to tell Charlotte about our secret baby, and tell my siblings in person (which was lovely). We didn't tell Zander for several more weeks, as I knew Charlotte would be able to keep the secret around campus better than he could.

I also started looking into birth centers (home birth is not well supported in North Carolina--disappointingly). There was a highly recommended birth center about 45 minutes drive away, and I wound up contacting them and getting set up there.






February 2017
Thanks to the planning of my sweet husband, we managed 2 days off this month! And another set of reliefs were hired; although, they wouldn't actually be in our cottage to give us time off until sometime in March. But hope was on the horizon--at last! And not one minute too soon as baby was quickly making her presence known in tiredness, nausea, and general early pregnancy symptoms.


We told the girls that we were having a baby. We bought Blueberry a shirt that said "Best Big Sister Ever" and Zander one that said "Just stuck in the middle." Sent them out into the cottage to "show off" their new shirts. Seven of the eight girls read Zander's shirt, had a discussion about middle children and babies, etc. Not one of them cluing into the fact that, as far as they knew, Zander WAS the baby--not a middle child. Took the eighth girl walking in, reading his shirt, looking at me, and when I confirmed with a nod, losing her mind in excitement, for the other girls to clue into what was happening. Ha ha.

Z-man turned 4 this month and we had a Lego birthday party for him. He had a blast.



March 2017
A break, at last. Or at least a normal shift. The general sigh of relief across campus was tangible.

We found out we were having a girl! Due around August 21st (the day of the Eclipse!). Z was initially hoping for a boy, but quickly changed his tune on finding out he was getting a sister. Blue was wanting a sister. And most of the kids on campus had cast their vote for one or the other; created a lot of fun competition for a few days.

And then the next wave hit. Our director, a man of God who both Chris and I hold in the highest respect (even with the craziness of the last few years!), was retiring. In a little over a month.

April 2017
Baby growing. I developed an obsession for all things seafood--particularly Thai Crab Fried rice (which I could not get in Concord, NC). Easter. Spring Break. The blessed relief of normalcy.


Monday, March 12, 2018

2016 in Snippets

Start of the Year:
Where: North Carolina - Children's Home - Girl's Cottage #5
Who/What: House parenting 5 young ladies; parenting Zander (age 2), and Charlotte (age 6 and starting kindergarten at home).

Overall impression of the year: 2016 was a tough year. There is no other way to describe it. The craziness started in January and spiraled into an insane schedule from there. I think I shall take it month by month as that is the simplest way of explaining what happened.

 January 2016

I started the year out by reorganizing the kid's room. In our tiny little 500sq ft apartment, space was obviously at a premium, so I was proud of managing to organize it as well as I did. Pride went before a fall, I guess.

On the 22nd of January, on our precious week off, we have snow. And then we received a visitor. Our director stopped by to "ask" us about some changes that needed to be made on campus. Long story short--having just reorganized my house--we were moving to another cottage. And gaining three girls as well. Immediately.


February 2016

This entire month was shaped by the process of moving. The changes on campus involved two other couples moving as well as our entire cottage. The cascade effect. One couple moved so another couple could move so we could move. It took about a month of shifting kids back and forth and here and there and packing and unpacking.

And any time children were added (or removed) from a cottage, there was a always a difficult transition time in which everyone wiggled and squirmed to get comfortable with the new order of things.

In the meantime, Zander had his third birthday--not the party I wanted for him due to the insanity of time--but a sweet celebration, none-the-less.

Charlotte also had a rough experience during this time, her hamster died. The death of a pet is always hard; the death of your first--the hardest. 




March 2016 - This was the gentlest month of this year. The moving wrapped up early in the month. We settled into a new cottage with new residents, and a new pattern. We also enjoyed going to the beach with several of the girls for spring break.





April 2016 - I remember this being an incredibly busy month. Not bad but extremely crowded. Lots of groups on campus, lots of school sports and activities, a trip into the Smoky Mountains to take the girls to a youth event (which gave us a fun day of visiting with friends), and my parents came to visit.

We also received unpleasant news in the form of our relief houseparents telling us they were resigning and we had one more month with them. This led to a bit of scrambling change on our parts as a we had an upcoming vacation scheduled that had to be rearranged, and some concern about what our future schedule was going to be.

Allow me to take a moment to paint for you a rough picture of our schedules as houseparents. The schedules vary depending on what home you're at, but at this particular home, our work schedule was set for 21 days of work followed by 7 days off. Now, when I say "21 days" of work, that means for 21 days in a row, our lives, our schedules, our everything for 24 hours a day, fit into the schedule and demands of the children, the house we were in charge of, and the entirety of the children's home itself.

During the school year, a healthy schedule might have a few hours during the weekday morning that require some work, but otherwise, it should be viewed as your family/downtime. Now, on vacations, weekends, summer breaks, or when kids are home sick (or suspended....aaaagh!), that's a different story. At least in the homes we've worked in, those times fell on us. I do know some homes operate differently and try to protect the downtime of the houseparents in many of those instances. Either way, your downtime is a highly valued commodity. When you're trying to balance a healthy family life with a consuming, time-intensive, emotionally and spiritually involving job dealing with not just raising children but training and teaching children from very mixed, not always strong backgrounds--it can be exhausting. Add in long stretches of time, and those precious down hours are your only opportunity to truly recharge from day to day. And, lets face it, deal with anything your personal life might be in need of.

Now, I could spend an entire post analyzing house parenting and fostering and explaining differences and similarities, etc. But that's not my goal here. Neither is my goal to speak badly of a job we truly loved and valued for many years. So I will summarize what was occurring in this way:  due to a variety of reasons, the demands on all our time were steadily increasing to the point where it was becoming unhealthy to our family. The need to regain balance in our lives was becoming a necessity when the news of our relief houseparentings leaving was broken to us. We knew that until their position was filled, our workload was going to have to increase--not decrease--and not much could be done about it. So we mentally prepped for what we hoped and assumed might be a few rough weeks or a couple months before the issue of balance could be further pursued.



May 2016 -
We added a few days to our regular week off and drove to Missouri. It was my parent's 40th wedding anniversary, and a chance to see some family and friends we hadn't seen in awhile. Little did we know, it was also the last time of sanity we would have for a very, very long time.

May 15th we came back on duty. It was the last day of work for our relief houseparents (in our cottage). And as we did not yet have anyone hired to take their place, we girded our brains with the expectation that we might end up working for a month or so without a break.


May 15 through June - July - August - September 12, 2016 - From May 15 until September 12, we had a total of 5 days off. 2 days in June and 3 days in July. None in August. This was an absolutely insane time for us as we worked through not only the sheer exhaustion of never being off, but we were dealing with some extra high intensity behavioral issues as well, which at any time would have been grating on the soul as well as emotionally and physically exhausting.

A Facebook post on August 5 sums up nicely my emotional state at times: Those moments in life when you face the choice: lay on the floor, kick your heels, and weep hysterically or just laugh. Perhaps till you cry. But laugh nonetheless.

During this time, we had two residents going to new chapters in their lives for various reasons, and we swiftly gained two new residents, so we continued to have 8 girls in our home. The turmoil of comings and goings always leaves a mark, so that was an added stressor to the time.

Just a tip--don't go into House parenting prepared to either (a) be the savior of the kids. Leave that to Christ. You can only provide direction and pray hard. or (b) never get your feelings hurt, never get emotionally drained, or always be superhero. Because you're not. And you can't. And you won't be. And if you think you can or are, you're going to be sorely disappointed at some point.

As ever, there were good times and bad. Sweet memories and bitter. But it came as music to my ears on September 10 when my husband informed me that he had just been told in a staff meeting that we were going off duty in roughly 24 hours for an entire week. First thing we did? Book a condo at the beach. For the week. Because we needed it.

When we came back on duty a week later, I can't say we were entirely refreshed because that would be a lie. But we were definitely in a better place physically, mentally, and emotionally than we'd been one week prior.

Other events that occurred during this time.  Blueberry and Zanderman participated in a soccer camp. Which was fun. Blueberry turned 6 and started First Grade!!!!  And my sweet, sweet nephew was born.















September 13 - December 31, 2017

Highlights from these months: My parents came for a 3 day visit (in-between ogling their newest grandchild!). Zander started dance and loved it (he was having to come with me to his sister's dance class every week, and they opened up a class for his age at the same time, So we took advantage of the opportunity).

Just keeping it real. Our home would frequently suffer during these long stretches because keeping up with it all is hard for anybody.






 

In world news, the King of Thailand died-the impact of which has been huge on the land of my childhood.


Our schedule continued in this vein of virtually non-stop work for several more months. I recall getting three days or so in October near the end of the month when one of the staff members in the office stepped up to provide some relief. It was November before somebody was finally hired as our new relief houseparents. By the time they went through training and started working, we wound up with 3 days off in November and 5 in December--then they quit. Houseparenting is not easy. And there is no judgement here. But I will admit to a deep groaning of the spirit at the thought of continuing for who knew how much longer without relief. 


And to round out the year thoroughly:
Facebook Post December 10: My verse this year has been Luke 22:42. Specifically the four final words of that verse: Thy will be done.

Frequently this year, I've had to repeat that as my mantra....His will be done. Give up desire, accept His wisdom. When we started our year with the chaos of an unexpected move. When I've literally worked months at a time with no break. When I've watched kids, into whom I've poured my heart and time and energy, imploding for seemingly no reason. When I've watched relationships that i desire crack and break down further-- again. When my heart felt like it was breaking. When facing politics and games at times and places where politics and games shouldn't be a factor. When i was so tired i felt like i might not be able to keep going if something didn't change immediately. My trust was-- Had to be--His will be done.

Without that trust, I would have quit, fallen apart, drowned in despair or frustration over and over this year.

I've watched so much tragedy go on around me this year. Friends being physically hurt. Loved one after loved one dying. Bombings, earthquakes, fires, the continued terrorism. So many people expressing frustration with this year as a whole.

And the only thing I've kept coming back to is: His will....not mine because i can only see a speck off the big picture....His will be done. Trusting. Surrendering.

And as i deal with the ramifications of yet another tragedy. The death of a woman i have loved and admired since i was 3 years old. With whom I've enjoyed developing a working- adult relationship of my own, outside of the context of my parents and their work. Someone who's ministry is so far reaching, i stand in awe. I can't imagine Thailand without Gail Barber Klepel there. And yet that's the new reality. And my heart breaks for her kids, and her husband. And for all of us who loved her and were impacted her.

And i find myself saying, praying, breathing, Thy will be done. Thy will be done. Because without that faith and giving it to Him, I don't know how to handle this crazy life right now.


December 20th: I discovered I was pregnant.


Six More Months of Shuffle and Change

The last post I wrote was July 2018. We were settling into routine, finding a groove, and trying to fit our family of five into a two-bedroo...