It's been a long week. A really long week. Baby Q is still hanging in there, refusing to come out. He had a salsa party the other morning, so he's obviously happy and enjoying himself, which is good. In the meantime, contractions continue pretty regularly.
I have learned more about Prodromal labor than I ever thought I would ever care to know. In the meantime, I do what I can to keep my energy levels up. The emotional side of this is rather draining; the not knowing when this is going to switch from this incessant discomfort/pain to actual labor. Plus the frustration of watching time slip away that I want to be enjoying physically holding and getting to know my baby. It just gets exhausting.
I find I alternate between activity, particularly that which might convince him to make his way out to the rest of the world, and resting/lazying. Mentally it is hard to focus on other things; although, I have done my best to do so.
There has been some unexpected grace given to us by various sources, which has brought a sense of relief in the midst of craziness. After such a relatively simple pregnancy, such an unexpected end has really thrown me. Every gift of support has brought with it a strong sense of gratitude.
In God's hands. I have nowhere else to place it all.
Ontology - a branch of metaphysics concerned with the nature of being - Merriam Webster. This is not a philosophical platform - it is simply me trying to consciously be. "For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit" (Romans 14:17). Therefore, "...train yourself to be godly...[for] godliness has value for all things…for both the present life and the life to come" (1 Timothy 4:7b-8). And therefore, I study ontology.
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