Blueberry's First Thanksgiving

Blueberry's first Thanksgiving was a cold one.

We had lunch at my brother and sis-in-law's house. Played games until late. Poor little Blueberry only took one short nap that whole time (other than the catnap on my shoulder). Was remarkably cheerful though. After all--people were around! She really is a social bug.


Blueberry is introduced to gaming at a young age.


Blueberry with her Auntie Joy


Uncle Jonathan and his Charlaberry.


Nom. Nom. Nom. Blueberry's favorite snack.


Check out the cute boots from England!


She collapsed into bed with Mummy at the end of the day.

Misaligned Stars, Bad Fates, and a Severe Dose of Sleep Deprivation

So this story starts last Friday when Blueberry got her second round of shots. Despite it making her feel not so great, there was a bonus (or so I thought) in that she slept really well that night. In fact, I got the most sleep in one night that I've gotten since she came home from the hospital. Combine that with the fact that I've really been working on her napping and she's finally started taking longer naps during the day, I was elated.

And then Sunday hit. And I got some stomach thingy. Seemed to be a 24 hour bug. Got over it quickly, but it was enough to wipe me out.

And then Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday hit. Blueberry apparently decided that napping was a bad idea--in fact sleep in general was not her friend--and I was more tired than ever. Actually, I think to some degree that part of the problem was that my body had finally gotten a full nights rest and it wanted more and was not happy about getting even less.

Then we got to Wednesday night. It was 3am, and as I lay in bed with a (sleeping!) child in her bassinet near me and a snoring husband, I realized something. My body has forgotten how to sleep. Literally. I felt like I literally could no longer sleep. I know understand why sleep deprivation is considered a torture and/or brain washing mechanism.

By Thursday morning I was exhausted. I literally woke up from the semi-sleep I'd finally manged to fall into and started crying. And I couldn't stop. All morning as I struggled to take care of my little girl, I would just start crying for no reason. Finally, it got so bad that I asked my husband to come home. He came home to a weeping, over-the-top dramatic wife, one wired little baby (because of course she wouldn't sleep either), and general chaos. He nicely watched Blueberry the rest of the afternoon as I struggled (and it was a struggle) to take a nap and get some rest.

Friday was a little bit better, but a big question was then being dealt with.

We were scheduled to leave on Sunday morning for Texas. More precisely, to Tulsa first to spend the night with some friends and then to Austin on Monday to spend Thanksgiving with Chris' aunt and uncle. We wanted to break up the otherwise 10 hour (not counting baby stops) trip into two chunks--hopefully more manageable.

My job the entire week was to get ready for that trip. Except I was in such a zombie state all week that I hadn't done anything yet. Plus, in an effort to help out the sleeping baby issues, we decided to try putting her in her big crib in her room. The logic being that I think we were waking her up at night (which was causing all sorts of fun and games and contributing to the sleep issues). But if we were going to start trying to change her sleep patterns a bit, was that wise to do so for a few days and then completely mess her up as we took a trip?

So the question was: should we go?

Friday night we pretty much decided to not go. I was still wiped out and not sure I could handle the trip.

Friday night, I slept pretty well, and actually woke up feeling better than I had all week. Blueberry slept well in her crib, and the world seemed a slightly happier place.

Well, then I felt I had to revisit the question (my sudden reversal gave my husband whiplash)--could we go to Austin? We finally decided to try it. So I spent all day Saturday doing laundry and trying to get ready.

Got about 3/4 of the way packed. Hit the evening. I was tired and done and going to finish packing in the morning.

Phone rings. Friends in Tulsa. "Our toilets are broken. If we can't get them fixed, we don't know if we're going to be able to host anybody!" Hmmm....that's interesting. They were to call us in the morning to up date us.

Half an hour goes by. Watch one episode of The Big Bang Theory. Phone rings. Chris' uncle. "Your aunt is not feeling well. Monday is probably not going to be a good day to arrive." Hmmm...that's doubly interesting.

Now what? Try to drive it all in one day later in the week next week? See if Tulsa friends might be able to host us later in the week (assuming their toilets get fixed)?

We slept on it (Blueberry came to bed with me--couldn't handle the thought of getting up in the middle of the night!).

Woke up the next morning to a phone call from Tulsa informing us that the toilets were, theoretically, fixed. Theory and toilets are not a good combination.

After further discussion regarding various aspects of the trip and a realization that the Fates are apparently against us going on this trip, the stars are not aligned, and I really am still exhausted, and Chris is now suffering from multiple cases of whiplash as we keep changing our minds, we finally decided to just call it off.

We counted it up. From start to finish, we changed our minds on plans for this trip six different times. But we're finally settled. I'm starting to unpack (go figure!), and we're staying here for Thanksgiving! It's all craziness.

Blueberry's Birth Story Part III

Click here for Part I and here for Part II...

Those first few precious moments of baby gazing were so incredible. Holding her tiny little (purple!) feet. Watching her big blue eyes just stare at me...my heart melted.

My baby sister and Adam and had been at the hospital almost the whole time (poor thing--I think I traumatized her from wanting to have kids!). They came in and saw Blueberry right away. And of course there were phone calls to make to anxious parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles.

And trying to feed Blueberry that first time! Well, she licked a lot. That was about as good as it got. It was so cute though. The pediatrician was actually the one who helped me figure out what I was doing. It seemed so easy sounding reading about it but actually doing it was not quite as simple!

Other Reflections:

I was prepared. I did everything I could to make sure I was ready for the whole birth/labor process. It's hard not knowing exactly what you're getting into. But I'm very grateful for all the hours I spent reading and preparing with Chris ahead of time.

The breathing really worked. Focusing through what I was feeling was what helped the most. Recognizing the tenseness of my body and trying to relax gave me something to do that I could control in a situation where I felt so much was out of my control.

Chris was incredible. He was my support. I don't think I would have made it through alive without him there.

On the actual experience--I do wish things had been a lot better than they were. I left the hospital with a very bad taste in my mouth. Our next child very well may be born at home just because I don't want to risk having that kind of experience again. I will definitely be finding a different practice if we decide to go the hospital route as I do not want to risk ever having that man again.

Once again, I feel a lack of faith in the medical system. A process that my body was designed to do was treated as a problem. Every natural instinct that I had was ignored. Most of the things that I wanted to do that I knew would have helped the situation, I was kept from doing. It's the bizarrest thing. Why do we have a system that treats the most natural experience in the world as a medical problem to be fixed? Do problems happen? Sure. And the medical system can be there. But I felt like more problems were being caused in this case than were being helped.

I did find strength in myself that I never imagined I had. I know what I can handle, and I know that I can do this again in the future. And I also know that I will be a lot more assertive in the future when it comes to things like this. I'm tired of being pushed around by doctors.


Side Note on Three "Coincidences":

1. We had a great nurse in our patient room. The first words out of her mouth were "So, how did you get dengue fever?" Now, that may not seem so extraordinary except for the minor detail that she was literally the first person all day who not only knew what dengue fever is but knew how to pronounce it correctly! Turned out that she just happened to be a former missionary in the same mission as my parents who knew a lot of the same people I know as she and her husband had been to Bangkok frequently, and who was on her second to last shift at the hospital as she and her husband were going back out as missionaries!

She was a blessing as I was able to talk to her relatively freely about my experience with the doctor. Turns out he's pretty much a jerk to everybody. She had even had to report him before for abuse of staff and abuse of patients. Knowing that my impressions of him were not just because of how I was feeling has been helpful. I tend to be someone who second-guesses my responses to people, even though I'm told that I'm normally pretty accurate with how I'm reading someone, I still have doubts. Knowing that I wasn't crazy but he really was not a good doctor to work with has helped.

2. There was a girl that was in the two classes Chris and I attended before Blueberry was born (the birth class and the baby care class). We had talked in the second class as we recognized each other and were due right around the same time. Well, the second night at the hospital, Chris was walking down the hall, when who should he run into but this girl! She had her baby just a few hours after Blueberry was born. We've run into each other several times since then and are now friends on Facebook. It's been kind of fun having a random birth-friend.

3. Although I did not get my week of relaxation that I so desperately wanted before Blueberry arrived, the timing was impeccable in another sense. As I mentioned in Part I, my husband's grandparents (who live several states away) were in town that particular weekend. They were scheduled to leave town Tuesday morning, and had actually been discussing leaving a day earlier! If Blueberry had waited even one more day, they would not have been around for the birth. Meaning, they probably wouldn't have seen her for at least four months if not even longer. And it meant a lot to us, and I know it meant a lot to them, that they were able to be here right away.

I don't believe in coincidence. God has to perfect of a plan for that.