Monday, September 24, 2007

Choosing My Life

So the last few days - week plus - have been a little crazy for me. I've had so much on my mind and yet no time to write! So frustrating!

The Myrte front is a good place to start.

Things have been, for the most part, encouraging in this area. I was complaining to my darling husband the other day that God seems to have (very unfairly in my eyes!) been teaching Chris and I some extremely hard lessons in our own personal lives that are coming back to play in relation to Myrte! There are so many times she has had a question or a problem that has come up that we literally have just worked through or really gotten to a better understanding of in our own lives. And we have a good answer with Scriptural bases and real life examples for her.

Saturday was interesting because she had hit a hard point where she was struggling with wanting to keep going in this battle. My heart breaks for her sometimes because she has such lies that the Devil is feeding her, and when she's frustrated or restless, she becomes so blind to truth because these lies are all she can see. And she has lived with some of these lies for so long, it's hard for her to break away. We spent several hours talking with her...the end result being that she decided to not leave us and give up. When Chris and I walked away from the situation though, I felt like I had been talking to Myrte but for half of the conversation Satan had been answering back. Thank God for His angels surrounding all of us.

One of the big issues we have discussed over and over again has been that of control. Not just self-control, which obviously is a factor in all this, but the dangers of allowing other things to control you, and how even a little tiny thing can actually be exerting terrible control over us if we are not wary.

I have really been dealing with this issue myself lately as the Lord has shown me that in my frustration and even anger towards a situation that has been a part of our lives for some time, I am allowing that situation to control me. Now, I know, in regards to this particular issue, that I cannot exert control over the situation. Only God can do that. However, I do have the choice of either responding so strongly to what occurs that it controls me and my life and my emotions and even my joy. Or, I can forgive and then, by the grace of God, make choices and take actions that - to the best of my ability - control my own responses and attitudes and words. The situation may never change. But I don't have to live a life controlled, manipulated, disgusted, or discouraged by it.

And that is where both Chris and I are at. For those of you dear readers who know what this situation is, please continue praying for us. We are trying to make the best choices we can, not allowing all of this yuckiness to control us but choosing to take certain actions, steps, and even say certain things that will change what we allow to impact our lives. This may be seen as confrontational to the other people involved, and we are putting up some tighter boundaries than we have in the past out of the necessity of protecting ourselves emotionally, but we are not trying to hurt or respond out of anger or even frustration. We are wanting to forgive and, yes, love, while simultaneously taking the actions that will put a stop to some of what is going on at least while we are around. It is a tricky line to walk, and we are praying for the wisdom of God in navigating it successfully.

That is the short version of my jumbled mess of a brain lately. I'm sure I'll be back with more!

1 comment:

Almamater said...

You are in our prayers. And how we are looking forward to your visit in November!!

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