Sunday, February 20, 2011

Oh Me, Oh My

I fear I am a woman of contradictions.

I want to be efficient, but my perfectionism stops me from accomplishing efficiency because being efficient doesn't necessarily equal being perfect.

I feel lonely and depressed when I'm on my own and have had no contact with anyone (thus feeling like no one cares), but I also procrastinate on contacting others, and I crave alone time and get irritable when I don't have enough.

I desire a simple life and fill it up with bits and bobs and clutter and things.

I get overwhelmed and need help, but then don't take help when it is offered.

I seek to save but wind up spending.

I establish a Plan, and then I turn around and do something else entirely.

I love and respect my husband deeply, but find myself criticizing those very things that are essential elements of who he is.

I want my daughter to grow up to be herself, but I want her to fit into routines and structures that don't necessarily match her.

I know meal planning ahead of time would save me time and work, but I can't find the energy to create the menus.

I try to be wonder woman (or maybe the Proverbs 31 woman), but I get overwhelmed when I do to much and feel I succeed at nothing.

I desire a sunny day and stay inside in the shade when I get it.

I seek to be a good friend and then fail to do things that a good friend would do.

I want to exercise more because I know I feel better if I do, but I sit as my chair is so comfy and relaxing.

I try to live up to everyone else's expectations (or what I see as their expectations), and find that I'm not even living up to my own.

I think life in bygone days seems idyllic and so much better than the fast paced world of today, and I then I grumble over my microwave taking 5 minutes to heat up my lunch.

I want to eat more healthily and instead make chocolate pudding.

I plan and dream and scheme for what to do in the future and the present slides away from me.

3 comments:

Mercutio said...

lol + wow

Great post.

Jonathan said...

I love you sis!

almamater said...

Yes, yes, and yes.