Wednesday, June 23, 2010

32 weeks & 13 Things No One Told Me Before Getting Pregnant

Disclaimer: I've actually, despite the aches and pains and throwing up and and swelling and occasional meltdowns (*ahem* very occasional.......), enjoyed being pregnant. What I write below is not intended as a list of complaints (indeed--they're not all negative), but simply some observations that I've personally made over the last few months as things that I never really realized before I got pregnant!

1. Your body, size, weight, how you feel, and everything else suddenly becomes a point of public discussion. Everyone (and I'm talking everyone here--including random people in stores!) feels entitled to an opinion, and has no hesitation on expressing said opinion. And, everybody (aka--women) will compare you with how they looked, how their friends looked, how much they weighed, what they felt like, etc. And for some reason, some people feel that they absolutely must tell you the worst horror stories of birthing that they can come up with. So encouraging, let me tell you!

2. Your body--well your stomach--suddenly also becomes an area of public domain in terms of touch. Fortunately, I don't mind. I actually find it kind of funny. But if an individual has issues with people touching them, I could see this driving someone insane!

3. 9 months of pregnancy is a lie. Do the math. You're pregnant for 10 months, unless you want to calculate in there all the months with extra weeks and days and it's just one confusing mess. And it's even more confusing explaining to someone who has never been pregnant or who has never tried to do the pregnancy math before why it really is easier to count in weeks and not months because the months don't add up right!

4. Getting out of bed is a very difficult business when you're trying to sit up with someone weighing you down.

5. Heartburn is not fun. And I never knew that pregnancy could give you heartburn. I've never had heartburn before in my life--until recently. Not my idea of a good time. However, I did (well, Chris discovered) that about 1/4 tsp of baking soda and 4oz of water will actually clear up heartburn. Yay for non-toxic cures!

6. Your body has a mind of its own. Before we got pregnant, I had read things like "every pregnancy is different" yadda, yadda...I'm realizing exactly how true it is. But more, I've realized that I have relatively little control over most of it. I can be really, really careful about what I'm eating, how many calories, etc, and I put on 2lbs in a week. But then I can have a week or so where I'm not as careful and I lose weight! I've given up worrying about it. I'm not overeating, I eat a healthy diet, my vitamin levels and everything are all showing fine (even without prenatals), and unless my doctor is worried--I'm not going to. Got enough on my mind otherwise.

7. Your OB/GYN might not be your biggest medical support in pregnancy; your chiropractor might be. I honestly don't know how I would have survived the last few months if I had not decided to go see a chiropractor. I wonder sometimes if it has something to do with all my years of dance, and having my posture forcibly changed so dramatically that my body doesn't know how to cope with it.

8. 2am is apparently a great time of day to work out. The weird thing is that it's not Blueberry waking me up in the middle of the night. A lot of people talk about not being able to sleep because the baby is moving around. I've just had insomnia, I guess. Or my body's been doing it's best to prepare me for 2am feedings.

9. Your skin is way more flexible and stretchy than you ever could have imagined--it can even become transparent. Who'd a thunk?!

10. Having arms and legs and feet and elbows and toes poking around inside is just weird--in a cool way. People always talk about feeling baby move, but the oddness of the sensation of having an entity essentially entirely separate from your own bouncing around inside regardless of what you might be doing is almost beyond description.

11. The brain becomes a very weird place when pregnant. There's no other words for it--it's just bizarre! Weird thoughts, especially when I'm trying to sleep, flit through my mind. Dreams are more vivid than I ever thought possible. And of course throw in a few hormones into the mix, and sometimes I seriously think I'm becoming insane!

12. My doctor very nicely reminded me that if/when my belly button pops, it doesn't mean the baby is done. So far no pop yet, but every day I check anxiously to see if it's any closer. I'd really rather my nice little in-e stays an that way rather than becoming an out-e!

13. The Linea Nigra (I think I spelled that correctly) is the oddest looking thing. I keep thinking I should find a handle somewhere at the top or bottom of this enormous line running straight down the middle of my belly that I could just use to zip this little girl right out. Chris thinks that's how God originally intended childbirth, but the Fall messed up that whole plan. Not quite sure what I think about that...

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