The short of is that after prayer and planning and dreaming and scheduling, I could not get a peace about working at the studio. In some ways it felt like a dream come true, but in others, akin to opening myself up to a nightmare. (OK, maybe not quite that extreme but my literary side liked the imagery!)
Basically there were quite a few reasons against taking either or both positions (and after I made my decision and passed it along to the powers that be, I discovered it probably would have entailed taking BOTH positions as opposed to just one, at least initially). Some of them were as follows:
- I'm not doing my masters this year because Chris is going back to school and I've really felt like the Lord has been leading me to be a support to him in the next few years not focused on my own school, etc. And although he (Chris) kept telling me not to factor him into my decision, I realized that I had already factored him into my decision by the simple fact that I'm not doing school; therefore, why would I take up that time with yet another activity? And an activity that would take me out of the house a lot.
- All the "Pros" of taking either position (other than the fact that I would be dancing again) were based on which of the positions would be better - not pros in terms of how getting into this would be an improvement in our lives.
- Dancing again - I wouldn't be dancing. I would be administrating or teaching. I miss dancing. I don't miss a lot of other parts of that world - Christian or non-Christian.
- I'm struggling keeping up with 40 hours of work a week (case in point, I was so excited this week that I thought I was going to be able to have two full weeks without taking any sick time - first time in months I think. And then Wednesday hit) - why would I add another 20 or so?
There were other reasons beyond this. But I think one of the key elements for me is the fact that since I've made this decision I have had peace. I haven't had one moment of doubt concerning my decision.
Maybe this was just one of those moments when God wasn't going to "yay" or "nay" the decision and would have given me strength to go with either one. Obviously I'll never really know. But as things stand right now, I am confident in the decision I have made.